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2010-01-29 11:17:04

My heart goes out to you and I will pray for you! There is help for any and every problem brought to mankind. You are loved by y

> I am embarrassed to say what has being my ocd pattern and ritual. The last time and also the only time i contacted one of these OCD forums. One of the replies really upset me and i never contacted the forums again, in fact it all made me feel worse and pathetic. I don't know how i have gotton this ocd particular ocd ritual started but of all of my rituals this is the hardest to stop and takes me a long time to do. I made myself sick, to top that off i have to do it in threes and patterns that make up three, there are times i make it harder on myself and change hands or stand to the left or the right all the while making myself vomit, not that there is anything to throw up, but why i make it harder is something i don't know or understand, what does this say about me as a person, that i don't trust nor believe in myself and most certainly feel low.Everything has to be perfect and if not then i keep repeating it until it is , but sometimes at that stage i have myself driven mad and then my head and thoughts are going around that it was not perfect, even though i am saying to myself that yes i did it and it is perfect but when i am tired and feel lousy and depressed, the ocd mostly wins over. Yet my logical brain says this is absurd, and is most certainly ilogical.When i admitted this to the ast forum well, it felt like i was being admonished, rebuked and so i was feeling even more depressed and hopeless too.

Created by Charlene

Replies:

hi | Posted by richard nunez at 2010-01-21 03:51:14
My heart goes out to you and I will pray for you! There is help for any and every problem brought to mankind. You are loved by y | Posted by Charlene at 2010-01-29 11:17:04

You are loved by your creator. I am 53 and when I was 20 I cried out asking God to reveal Himself to me. I felt such a need for | Posted by Charlene at 2010-01-29 11:28:50

you are loved | Posted by Charlene a at 2010-01-29 11:46:09

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